Not an Art Monster

Today I said both "barfy" and "fart sound" to my therapist.

Oct 24, 2024

I DID IT OK

Dear Readers,

I turned in Out in Hollywood/Preposition Her Noun #4 to my editor and the truth is I feel extremely fragile about the whole thing. I tried to figure out why this felt different, and then I realized there was an actual reason!! (NOT JUST THAT THIS STUFF IS HARD!!!)

To take you behind the curtain, here’s how Books #1-3 went:

For Her Consideration: wrote the whole thing (SECRETLY!!) during lockdown, worked v hard on it, sent to my agent who had a few notes, and then she sold that revised manuscript to my current publisher in a two-book deal.

At Her Service: sent in a synopsis and first few chapters to my editor for the second part of that two-book deal. She loved it, said keep going!!

On Her Terms: wrote a synopsis and first few chapters, my agent sent it to my editor, she loved it and offered another two-book deal. Hurrah!

Book #4: my editors kept leaving (well-documented here) so I… just wrote it. I eventually got an editor and I think I told her a three-word synopsis or something and then I just continued to write it.

NO ONE HAS SEEN THIS BOOK. My friend Jessie saw a small scene because it contained a joke I felt like I wrote just for her. My friend Kayla saw ONE PARAGRAPH because similarly it contained a private joke. NO ONE ELSE HAS SEEN ANYTHING. To be frank with you, the people I talked to most about this project were my friends and acquaintances I interviewed for research NEARLY ONE YEAR AGO BEFORE I WROTE A SINGLE WORD.

It is hard to have faith in yourself as an artist, at least it is to me! Today in therapy I brought up the idea of art monsters, the (mainly) men who just fucking wrote their little books and their little plays and made their little movies, taking no one else into mind (often while their wives were typing up their notes or putting the draft into shape let’s be real) and feeling great about it. LOOK I DO NOT WANT TO BE A JERK but I would take some of that art monster feeling sometimes. I would like to have great faith in myself before anyone’s involved, before there are any compliments, before someone says “yes even if you’d asked I would have wanted you to write this exact book”.

So, I dunno, maybe in some small way this was me being a tiny art monster??? Or maybe I was just worried about inertia and momentum. I’m stressed out now! Why did I “raw-dog the editing process” as a friend put it?!!!

A reminder that On Her Terms is out in a few months but it is already available to request on NetGalley right now! If you read it and like it, reviews mean the world to authors!!!

xoxoAmy

Captain doing a big flounce after I told him he had to stop jumping on the table while I was working

Read Recently

Imaginary Countries - There’s hardly anyone writing about writing that I want to read more than Alexander Chee. This piece on teaching writing speculative fiction contains some of my favorite things: big thoughts on teaching, small specific actionable writing prompts/advice, and a killer reading list. (If you’re a writer and not already subscribed to his Substack just do it!)
Teens to Hollywood (NYT gift link) - As someone who wrote for teens for over a decade, I am very interested in what they claim to want out of entertainment (AND WHAT THEY ACTUALLY ARE CONSUMING).
The Opera Ghost - This is a year-old article about Andrew Lloyd Webber but I reread it recently (yes I am whatever category “recreationally rereads pieces about musical theatre composers” slots into) and it’s just really great even if to be honest with you I think ALW has written some very good musicals (JCS, Evita, Sunset Boulevard, and give it up for Cats which SORRY has too many bangers to be ignored). (If you have seen the new production of Sunset Boulevard please tell me everything.)

Consumption

Watching

Oh my god I adored Anora which was so much funnier than I expected. Mikey Madison is perfect.

Also Watching

I’m sure no one is surprised that me, a Grey’s devotee (I struggled with how to identify myself there, “superfan” feels wrong because I spend as much time angry at Grey’s than enjoying it these days SOMEONE PLEASE KILL OFF OWEN HUNT) watched Anatomy of Lies but wowwwwww. I thought the writer faking cancer was, like, the whole story (AND WHAT A STORY) but as someone who’s watched this show many times and has Strong Feelings about certain arcs and episodes I was ASTOUNDED to see how much of the show’s weird bullshit was due to this person!!! (ALSO A VERY BEAUTIFUL EPISODE ABOUT SEXUAL VIOLENCE… THAT WAS BASICALLY STOLEN EXPERIENCES IT TURNS OUT OMG NOT OVER THIS.) Anyway if you hated Karev’s fucking letters from Kansas we really truly now know what happened, at least on the writing side of things, hoo boy.

Reading

This is the most depressing thing and I am not sure it’s the right counterbalance to finishing A ROMANCE NOVEL WITH A LOT OF JOKES but The Only Plane in the Sky is astoundingly good and moving.

Wearing

I’ve been wearing fewer no-show socks (thanks, youths) and my new fave socks are Le Bon Shoppe’s Boyfriend Socks. Comfortable and v good colors.

On Her Terms

ON HER TERMS is out February 25, and I could not be more excited. I am truly so proud of this book. I think it is legit the funniest thing I’ve ever written. Also I got to talk about a lot of things that matter to me, like bisexuality and weird family stuff and of course the beauty of friendships that refill your soul. And cute pets!!!!! I hope you like it too!

EXCLUSIVE STICKER DETAILS: if you preorder ON HER TERMS from Skylight Books, you will receive this sticker sheet featuring the pets of ON HER TERMS, Fernando and Small Jesse Pinkman.

Fresh off breaking up with her boyfriend and swerving away from the conventional, TikTok-ready married life she never wanted, Clementine is ready to explore the alternatives. Not that she wants to be single forever, much less die alone. But at thirty-six, it’s time for her to experience new things—including in her love life. And though an invitation to a fake relationship to appease family sounds like a recipe for disaster, Clem finds herself agreeing to the ruse with smart, spirited dog groomer Chloe Lee anyway . . .

Chloe is long past her own baby gay era, but even before they’ve tackled Clem’s parents’ anniversary party and Chloe’s friends’ wedding, the two of them end up spending a lot of time together. As the attraction between them grows stronger, it all begins to feel very real to Clem. Chloe, however, is fine as just friends—plus she’s convinced Clem is just eager for “someone” to take her off the singles list. How to persuade her otherwise? After all, Clem is starting to realize her life is wonderfully full and being “alone” doesn’t scare her a bit. Still, being without the tiny powerhouse that is Chloe, specifically is a whole other story . . .

Wise, witty, and full of heart, this is an uplifting love story about being true to yourself and your desires, even if it means plunging into uncharted territory.

Preorder On Her Terms

“On Her Terms is a delightfully funny and tender ode to second chances, all the romantic feels, and finding—and loving—yourself at every stage in life. A bright jewel of a romance.”—Ashley Herring Blake, bestselling author of Delilah Green Doesn’t Care

“Nobody look at me while I'm reading an Amy Spalding book because I'm worried I have the cheesiest grin on my face the whole time! On Her Terms is so funny but also disconcertingly relatable if you happen to be a queer person still figuring out your own queerness later in life. I loved watching Chloe and Clementine banter and flirt and eventually admit to themselves that what they were pretending was fake was actually very, very real.”—Alicia Thompson, USA Today bestselling author of With Love, from Cold World